I don't know what to do.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. The abuse started a little bit before we moved in with each other, so about 3 months after we were together. It started with getting mad over absolutely nothing, making me feel so completely insane, calling me a cunt, dumb ass, dumb bitch, dumb mother fucker, worthless cunt.. & the list goes on..

He is always facetiming his friend who lives in Texas now and all they do is bash me, tell me that I need to clean, that I'm his slave, that I'm worthless and that he makes the money and that I have absolutely no say in anything. He talks down to me, and tells me that my family's a piece of shit and worthless.. Gets mad when I FaceTime them or talk on the phone with them. He tells me my friends are shitty and aren't real friends.

Then he started abusing my dogs, throwing them, punching them as hard as he can, and kicking them. I can never play around with him, if I sing playfully he tells me to "shut the fuck up" or "shut the fuck up or he'll hit me.." If we're joking around and I playfully hit him, he takes it to the extreme and once he even grabbed me, turned me around, put me in a chokehold, threw me on the couch and then asked me if I was done being a psycho bitch..

And whenever I cry, it does not even phase him the LEAST bit. He will not show any emotion. He will never apologize for any fight that we have. It's always me and him saying "are you gonna say sorry?" .. Like everything I do is horrible.

He then got mad because I was talking to someone after we had been broken up for a month and we got back together and then he brought it up and threw my phone, followed me into every room, got directly in my face, poked my chest, shoved me against the wall, threw me on the bed, choked me, and shoved my face to the side.. I woke up with a sore jaw and bruises all over my chest. All I got was "sorry, but you were talking to him" blah blah blah. Again.. Making things my fault as an abused does.

I just don't know what to do.. I moved from my family in the state I grew up in & now we're 5 states away, and I don't know what to do. I'm trapped & I feel helpless.

Comments for I don't know what to do.

Click here to add your own comments

he is fucking crazy
by: Anonymous

why would he be treting you this way he is very abusive towards sice the first time he hit you you should have known wat he is getting at sweetheart he iz calling you crazy he iz the one that iz crazy I had to do a research on domestic violence and I saw the story you wrote it sound very interesting you don't know wat to do to him he cannot want to be beating you around the kids caz if the kids see their that their dad is beating you they would want to do the same wen they get marry especially the boys you should move out and leave him along and don't worry about money he will sew him for chidsupport girl I thing your boyfriend needs fucking help I don't think you have to go true this just because of love if he iz beating you like this he don't love you he wnt to hit

Abuse always gets worse
by: Jenn Sadai

Move back home. Surround yourself with people who truly love you. I was in a similar relationship and the abuse escalated until the point he almost killed me. It started with name-calling, then he squeezed my arm...five years later he was trying to smother me with a pillow in my sleep. Read my story, Dark Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman. Get out of the cycle of abuse before it gets worse. I'll be praying for you.

You need to heal.
by: Anonymous

You have been wounded by loving a man with psychopathic characteristics. Does this fit: intelligent, charming, having no conscience, enjoying inflicting mental and physical abuse? Your self-worth has been damaged. Your trauma is similar to a survivor of a concentration camp. They knew their imprisonment was cruel, unjust, unfair, and was not their fault. Like them, you can despair or seek recovery in having a life of compassion toward others who deserve it. It's not something you can get over. You need to recognise you've had a relationship with a psychopath. You need to rebuild your self worth. Avoid such people in future.
I'm an old man. It took decades for me and my sister to rebuild our self-worth after a childhood of violent abuse from our father. It can be done. My sister spent her life caring for abused childen. I became a scientist looking for cures for disease. Building your self-worth through compassion for the unfortunate will help build a wall against the man who has damaged you.

Click here to add your own comments