My Domestic violence story

by candice
(winnipeg canada)

It all started in the summer of 2012, soon after I lost my son in a tragic accident. My then partner and I had been together about 5 months. My first memory of abuse was my sister's wedding night. We were both intoxicated, and he had snuck beer back to the house with him. I said something about it and the response was a slap across the face. I know I should have left right then, but looking back we lived together, and I felt I owed him something for being the only one there when my son passed away. I will make something clear, in the year I have been gone I learned you never owe anyone for things they wanted to do for you that is their choice.

I stayed for 3 years because he controlled everything. Eventually I lost a lot of friends. People turned their backs. Because I was so scared of those angry drunken beatings, I stopped seeing my granny. She was my best friend in a lot of ways. I had put up with and given so much, I couldn't even cry for her. She passed almost exactly two years after I buried my son.

I did leave him once moved provinces. He contacted me and promised me the world. How naive I was to beleive That. It brought half naked pictures of his ex, a hand outline bruise on my arm for new years. The worst was hearing for months that I was a horrible a mom and my son passing was my fault. It really breaks a person.

I have been through the Whole Spectrum of things people Can experience, homeless prégnant, cheated on, beaten, and had death threats made against me. It will be a year soon since I left. It took two moments to trigger a séries of évents. The first was getting punched in the head with my 2 month old daughter in the bed. The next was an awesome family member with a simple question, "Would you be with him if you didn't have too be?" The answer to me was simply NO!! It had been over for me for a while I just hadn't found a way out.

The next day I was in a shelter in a new city where I knew almost nobody, with a three month old baby. I stuck to myself that whole first day. Eventually I opened up to the idea and made several friends. I still go back to that place sometimes to share my experience with the hope of helping someone.

Its been almost a year now. I have made new friends, found a place of my own and gained some confidence back. I am still not the person I was once. I still have triggers: loud trucks, parties next door, people fighting. There are nights when I even double check the locks.

If I could say one thing to another woman it would be: You Can Leave, You Can make it! Taking the first step is hard, but it Is Worth It.

Comments for My Domestic violence story

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Nov 04, 2015
thank you
by: Anonymous

I'm in your situation almost to the "t". I'm sorry about your son. May I contact you? I can not put my email address on here. Could you yours? I'm sorry.

Nov 05, 2015
well
by: candice

Sure You Can contact me. My email Is sumchick_76 at hotmail d o t com.

Nov 05, 2015
Above
by: Anonymous

I went through very similar to you. I have been out of the relationship for 3 years now!! I agree You can do it!!!! At the time it feels like there is no way out.. a Neverending torment and trap but trust me it does get better. Someone once said to me jump and your safety net will appear.. if anyone needs support please please email me... jojostolz72 at gmail d o t com xxx here for anyone that needs an ear from someone who had survived

Nov 13, 2015
A Better Life Awaits
by: Jenn Sadai

My favourite line from Dark Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman is "The life you are living now doesn't have to be the life you will always live."

Wishing all of you ladies freedom and peace.

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