Still struggling

by Julie Rice
(Phoenix, Az)

I have written on this site before and would like to continue my story. I was married for 30 years to a narcissistic abuser, who is still trying to control my life. I am at my wits end as to how to get this evil person out of my life. As it turns out, even though my divorce was final in January, my ex still refuses to remove his name from my home. I also still have no medical insurance and have not seen a doctor since November of 2014 after having major spine surgery last year. I am also on disability for Battered Women's Stress Syndrome and was put on disability 11 years ago. So not only did my ex disable me and prevent me from earning an income, now it seems that Social Security will not cover my medical insurance. Is there anyone out there that can please help me?

I'm alone and desperate and I really don't know where to turn for help. I had a very bad divorce attorney whom I fired and have moved from CA to Az. To top everything off, our disabled son is losing his cash benefits from Social Security with the only explanation being we moved to another state. My ex had refused to pay any child support for our disabled son, so my meager alimony and SSI benefits are barely supporting the two of us. How can I afford any medical insurance coverage, a house payment on a home that's not even our own, and all the bills that come with life?

He makes over $125,000.00 a year and has no house payments, carpayments or insurance payments that I'm aware of. Why do I still have to have recurring nightmares and have to live under his roof that was given to me in the divorce? I thought finally getting away from that abusive, evil man, that my son and I could try and have a normal life free of abuse, but that just hasn't happened. I'm really thinking of just giving up and calling it quits on this life.

It seems it doesn't matter if you physically and emotionally abuse someone because I do not see him suffering any punishment. It is us who were abused that seem to still be paying the price for believing in the judicial system of California.

Comments for Still struggling

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Jun 25, 2015
Hang in there!
by: Brian

Many readers of this website would be very proud of you from escaping the abuse of your ex. I pray that your housing, medical and financial situations will clear up soon, so that you may have greater peace in your life. That part really sucks, and that's why so many have a hard time escaping abuse. You are very brave.

Jun 25, 2015
Stay Strong
by: michigan

I agree brian it is why woman are scared to leave. Hang in there and find a local support group. Try a local domestic violence center like the YWCA or the national domestic violence organization for guidance. There is help out there but sometimes it take some research. Please stay strong and look at some of your blessings such as you did it you got out and you and your son is safe. Things will get better because god is a loving god. Stay strong we all know your struggle but it will get better because you are a victor

Jun 27, 2015
Stay Strong
by: Vanessa

You are a striong woman for doing what you have already done. Keep on chugging because it only makes you stronger! Your son will appreciate your fight and learn to take these experiences and help mood him to be as strong as you are. Purchase the book The Secret, it changed my everyday outlook on life. They have it in an app version and each day it provides you with greatness. Also, resources on line will help you with your financial needs. I have also posted my story to this site. You are not alone!

Jul 10, 2015
Good work so far, keep going
by: Anonymous

First, please do not give up on this life. What you have done so far tells me you have the skills and power to get your life where you ultimately want it even if it's not quite there yet.
Also, please try not to put too much thought toward what your ex is doing. You are more interesting than he is, so instead re-focus your thoughts on the ideal life you want. When you have a general picture in mind, hold onto it so you know what you are working toward.
Second, finances are a reality. Perhaps calling 800-799-7233 can provide you some local resources to research. Please keep checking all avenues because it seems you would qualify for some assistance.
Last, take care of your health emotionally and physically. Making big life changes takes energy. Eat healthy foods, drink water, and try to find a few minutes each day to just take a deep breath. You are not alone.

Jul 14, 2015
I feel like giving up
by: Julie Rice

I am beginning to think that my life is never going to improve. I'm still having nigh ares about my ex, I haven't made any new friends in Az, I'm so depressed, I can't even figure out how to find a doctor thru medicare. Struggling is an understatement today. I feel like my whole life so far has been wasted with a narcissistic abusive man who used up all the good that was in me. I feel so alone, angry, sad and overwhelmed. I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. I've tried so hard to be strong, but for what? There doesn't seem like there's anything to look forward to and no one to love me.

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