I need help.

by SSD

It is taking every piece of courage that I have to write this so please don't make fun of my situation. I'm a 53 year old woman that needs to get away from a man that I have stood by 25 years. I'm heartbroken, hurt, humiliated and embarrassed to reach out, but I pray to My God in heaven that there is someone that can help me. I need help in getting away from this evil man. I lay in bed every night hoping and praying some kind of way I will be able to know peace before I die. I have cancer and when I found out I had hopes that this man would have mercy on me and let me live in peace. If I could just get to some place and get me a job any kind of job and a little room to live in you have no idea how happy and safe I would feel. I know that nobody will help me more than likely but just to know that someone heard me say it helps. When he made me quit working five years ago because he got sick, he sold my car, every step I make except to go to the laundry mat he is right here. I made my mind up if I ever had a opportunity to reach out for help I would.

A woman moved in our building two months ago and she has witnessed his verbal abuse, and when he goes to the VA hospital appointments she comes over and chats. She said if I wrote this she would make sure she would post it everywhere to get me a way out. She is my only friend, and he doesn't allow her over except when he is home so as soon as he leaves she comes over for a hour because I figure it takes thirty minutes there and back so I'm safe.

Please don't pass judgement on me because you can say just like I did when I was young that I would never live that way, but when your isolated without any money and scared to live on the streets or in a shelter it's totally different when your living it.

I have saved little by little from change from the grocery store and change from money that I had left from doing laundry and have $427. It took me over a year to save that. I know nobody will understand or just maybe the people who have lived it. I don't even know how anyone would help me get away if they wanted to.

I was raised by the most beautiful parents a person could have and how I wish they were still here. I would have a place to go. I have lived a simple life. I've never been drunk, never used drugs and never tried to hurt anyone. If I could go back and do it again I would, but all I want is to be away from him. I'm willing to live as minimal existence as possible only to have peace, not be hurt anymore and to be able to be alone.

I have my faith in God and only by His grace am I alive. I know that God knows my heart, and I know that I will be free from this one day. But, oh how I wish I could breathe one breath in peace on this earth.

I need help with the rest that I need to move. I have contacted several places to rent, and the cheapest that I can find is $400 a month, deposit $400, electricity deposit is $175 and a small u haul is 19.95 a day, which I can do on a day he has a doctors appointment and lab work which takes 3-4 hours with him waiting and his travel time. I dont have much to move, just a bed, my clothing and a few personal items.

I know it's a lot to ask someone, especially a stranger, but if you could please help me out of this horrible situation I would be forever grateful. As soon as I can get on my feet, I could repay. It would take me some time, but little by little I could do it.

Thank you for reading my feelings and please lift me up in your prayers, and if there is a chance that there is someone that has been blessed with the means to help me, it would truly be a blessing.

Comments for I need help.

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Oct 06, 2016
Dear Change
by: Wanda

I am 54 years old and a domestic violence survivor for 21 years. I am still haunted..., PTSD.

Your are very brave and I hope to gain some of your courage to one day tell my story for I am sure this will be the thing to free me and I hope to inspire others as you have.
Thank you for your courage.

Aug 08, 2016

I felt compelled to respond to your letter for help. Although it's August 2016, the road to peace and freedom you dream of is a hard, and terrifying journey during which you will hopefully be blessed to experience self-discovery. These abusers/psychopaths are talented, they spend all their energy being evil (who does that, right); which is hard for a good person to comprehend. DO NOT EVER be ashamed of your story.
Writing and asking for help is a very brave and risky thing to do.... good job! Use the resources listed and keep trusting in the Lord. Keep knocking and asking for help so you can pay it forward. DV is kept silent still. Every voice, every bruise, every scar whether inside or out needs to be heard so we can save more lives, especially our children's. I hope you began your journey from victim to survivor to a conqueror.

With deep love,

Exquisite Savage

Sep 18, 2015
Characteristics of a psychopath.
by: John Fahey

I can see from the previous comments that you have been given good advice. I pray that you have taken the steps advised. I just want to say soemthing of my own encouragement. I'm 71 now. When I was a teenager my father battered me almost every day. He battered my mother and my younger sister. I've recently published a book called Survival about those years. My sister and I swapped a lot of therapeutic emails while I was writing. My sister, who had devoted her entire career to caring for abused children pointed out something to me. That our father had the characteristics of a psychopath. That is: intelligent, charming, good looking, lacking a conscience, enjoying inflicting physical and emotional pain on those near to him. Does that ring a bell with you? Watch for the signs and stay away from such men in future. My sister and I survived and have made good lives for ourselves. I wish the same for you.

Sep 08, 2015
Reach out
by: Anonymous

I don't know where you are in Indiana, but you need to call a hotline to get the help you need. I got both free legal and counseling from a domestic violence non profit in my state. I was even housed at a hotel free for a week and given a cell phone. Help is out there. Good job saving money, get all your documents together and get prepared. You will be able to breathe freely once you are out. People truely do understand. I was near 50 myself.

Where to Call for Help with Domestic Abuse - 13 WTHR Indianapolis

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Where to Call for Help with Domestic Abuse
Where to Call for Help with Domestic Violence

24-Hour Hotlines

Domestic Violence Network of Greater Indianapolis Navigation Hub: "HELPLINE/2-1-1" at 317-926-HELP (4357)

Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-332-7385

Crisis and Suicide Intervention Service 317-251-7575 or TEXT CSIS to 839863

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE(7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)

Emergency and Law Enforcement

Emergency 911

Marion County Sheriff's Department 317-327-1700

Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department Victim Assistance 317-327-3331

Adult Protective Services 1-800-992-6978
Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-800-5556

Center of Hope at Eskenazi Hospital 317-880-8006

VINE (Marion County Jail Release Notification) 1-866-891-0330

Marion County Prosecutor's Office 317-327-3522

Advocacy, Support Groups and Counseling

Breaking Free 317-634-6341

Julian Center 317-941-2200

Family Advocacy Center 317-327-6900

Family Service 317-634-6341

Legacy House 317-554-5272

Prevail 317-773-6942

Eskenazi Hispanic Health Resources 317-880-5000

Fresh Start of Indiana 317-541-1655

Resources for Families and Children

Prevent Child Abuse Indiana 1-800-CHILDREN

Indiana Family Helpline 1-855-435-7178

Family Support Center/Children's Bureau 317-634-5050

Teen Link Hotline 317-255-TEEN

Legal Assistance

Indiana Legal Services, Inc. 317-631-9410

Legal Aid Society 317-635-9538

Protective Order Pro Bono Project 317-236-0116

Financial Help

HELPLINE (Information and Referral) 317-926-4357

TANF/Medicaid/Medicare 1-800-403-0864

Shelters and Transitional Housing

Salvation Army / Ruth Lilly Center 317-637-5551
Julian Center Shelter 317-920-9320
Holy Family Shelter 317-635-7830
Sheltering Wings 317-745-1496
Queen of Peace 317-916-6753
Coburn Place Safe Haven (transitional housing) 923-5750

Produced by the Domestic Violence Network of Greater Indianapolis (317) 475-6110

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Aug 15, 2015
Help in indiana
by: Michigan

Why dont you contact the Indiana coalition on domestic violence. I am sure they could help or assit you in the right directions.

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