I was in an abusive marriage that started out being emotional and then turned physical. I left, vowing to myself that I would rather be by myself than in a situation like that again. That was ten years ago. I'm afraid I'm right back in the same position, again.

I'm engaged, not married. We were supposed to get married last year, and I called it off after my fiance kicked my door in after locking him out. We have been together for almost five yrs and friends for two yrs before we even started dating. What's crazy is, I wasn't even very attracted to him and thought I should give him a chance since he was such a kind man. Not only that, a couple of friends wanted us to get together, for whatever reason.

I am now feeling so much worse and weak than I can remember feeling before. Maybe my current man is outstanding and way better than my ex-husband was at hiding his true colors. I guess I'm pretty sure he is emotionally abusive. I think he's also physical. The difference is this: he doesn't hit, beat or push me. He touches me to aggravate me. I ask him not to touch me, yet he does it anyway. When I have my limit and flip out, he states that he's playing. He has held me by my wrists against my will hard enough to leave bruises.

Tonight he stated by throwing a paper towel at me repeatedly. I tried to ignore him. He then threw soft coasters at my head, and, meanwhile, he keeps asking for me to give him these items back and I ignore him. He then threw his baseball cap at my head and this hurt. I took his hat and hid it in the closet. He then proceeded to throw everything that was only mine out of the closet to find his hat.

It's a wake-up call typing this. I have told my partner I want to break up and want him to leave, but he won't. I own this house, and his name is on nothing. I just can't seem to muster up the energy to call the police to make him leave. There is so much more to this no one knows, not even family. Why can't I reach out? I'm ashamed and embarrassed I'm here again...

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