💔BROKEN💔

by Janet Johnston
(lexington park Md)

How many knifes to my throat !How many trips thrown down the stairs😷
Or slaps across my face ! It's not like NO ONE CARES😷.

Ripping off my clothes ! Hitting and then stomping me when I hit the ground😷
Or spitting in my face! No one will hear the sound😷.

Over N over choking me unconscious! Then over N over chopping off my hair😷.
Yelling constantly at me screaming! HEY WORLD DOES ANYBODY CARE😷.

Banging my head into a wall! Bruising N then biting my face😷
Kicking me until I can't walk! MEMORIES PLEASE ERASE😷.

Holding irons up to my face! I pass out what happens I don't know😷
Rapping belts around my neck !I try to leave the house but you won't let me go😷

So I'm hiding in the bathroom! Then always running from you out the house 😷
Then your screaming right in my face! Inside I'm crying but outside I'm quiet as a mouse 😷.

Running away with the kids! Promises to me are always broke😷
Over N over trying to kick you out! Me nothing to you but a joke😷.

Cheating on me over n over again! For fun a gallon of milk dumped on my head😷
Keep embarrassing me in front of friends! I kept wishing I was dead😷.

This still tears me apart inside! It's still ripping at my soul 😷
Yet I always loved you ! And worst I thought you made me whole💔

Comments for 💔BROKEN💔

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Oct 13, 2015
I Care
by: Anonymous

I care! I care because I AM YOU! I experience these same things. I care, because I know the fear, I know the "I wish I was dead feeling", I know the "trying to leave, but he won't let you", I know the stripping and beating. I know these things. I care. I don't know you, but I care. No one can relate until they walk in your shoes. I relate, because not only have I walked in them, I'm currently walking in them. I care about you, because it makes me not alone and it makes you not alone either. I care about you, because I know the feel of spit running down your face. I care, because I know how the cold knife feels at your throat. I care, because though my mind tells me he will end up killing me, and yours you, there's still no way out. I care, because I know the feeling of missing and loving someone that hurts you. I wish we could talk!

Oct 13, 2015
I Care
by: Anonymous

Do not forget that I care!

Oct 13, 2015
i hear your voice
by: rainonme

just wanted you to know .. i hear your voice in your words. thank you for having the thought of writing on this site. i wish i could form a safe house for all souls like you, me to be. a place of privacy love hope and friends. good food and talks. and meeting someone who will be everything your man is not. sounds like hope. when you go to sleep tonight know in your heart that i have your back in my mind. some defences i have learned.
when he starts on me, i will fry bacon. yes bacon. it is my weapon. i know to always keep some hidden for emergencies. when the bacon smells up the house he will want to eat it. and that will give you time to run away. while he is having the blt. and calming down. onother thing i learned to do is always project love on him. even while he is killing me. my projecting love does help him back off. theres more but you have to figure out your own defences. his favorites you can spring on him in the most worst of times. a stranger i am,a friend too, even though we havent met, you are like me, too.

Oct 17, 2015
omg
by: sandeesandlz98

sounds very close to me...kicked, choked,punched in the head,burned with cigs,stomped toes,pinned head to the wall with his. smacked upside the head,screamed in my face/ears. my hearing and sight reduced. hot potatoes, 48 count box of crayons thrown at my head,soap and lotion poured on me, doughnut smashed in my hair. no bathroom/water usage at all, no food, tv or computer for hours,stay off the furniture. attempted to take my phone repeatedly. all this over 16 years and i'm stuck in hell.police don't care or believe me thanks to him and his equally cruel twisted parents. they watch and encourage him, esp. his mother. father tells him to stop so he won't go to jail. not allowed to fight back or flee.

Oct 18, 2015
Thanks 💖
by: Janet Johnston

Thank you to both of you from deep in my heart 💯I appreciate your words !!Thank you!!

Oct 18, 2015
Thanks 💖
by: Janet Johnston

Thank you for your words anonymous and rainonme !!They are greatly appreciated!!Your words touch me deep in my heart !!Thank you !!

Nov 24, 2015
I hear you and I care
by: Ginger

Janet, rain on me, anonymous, sandee - I pray for you all and for your well being. I've been on this site for a few months and posted a few comments and have found the voices expressed here to offer a lot of support. Even if it is just to have someone acknowledge me. I have nobody to talk to and cannot give away a closely guarded secret of someone close to me going through the things you describe. Being able to post here makes me feel real. Not invisible. You all seem great. I want to let you know these things are all real and you are not alone.

Nov 30, 2015
I Care
by: Anonymous

A bunch of strangers in the same situation caring for each other. Beatutiful! There's still beauty in the world.It's very hard for me to see it, but you give me hope.

Attacks are becoming more frequent now...weekly...over dumb things (like Christmas shopping even). I need to know this. Do they realize what they are doing? Or do they not realize? I'm so confused. Going to take one hour of my life at at a time. I'm trying to be saved by God in case he kills me.

Dec 01, 2015
I think they know
by: Ginger

Responding to "anonymous" who asked if we think abusers know what they are doing. It is my opinion that YES they know. Just my opinion. Abuse is sbout control and they keep abusing because they see the effects of their behavior worksing.I also think they get affirmation when they see their victims crying or in pain because they feel more powerful seeing others weak. It's just part of their sickness.

Nov 16, 2016
Tears to my eyes😷
by: Anonymous

I feel you same here been feeling like that
I am you. Be strong 💔

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