Domestic story from Finland.

by Lilian Nyaguthie
(Finland)

Unable to Go Back

My name is Lilian Nyaguthie Mwai. I am a Kenyan citizen living in Finland. I have been going through mental torment and even physical abuse from my ex-husband here in Finland. Efforts to reach out to the Finnish government for help have bore no fruit and despite the fact that I have a restraining order against him, it doesn’t seem to help the situation at all. Nevertheless, I am in possession of vital evidences of racial abuse as well as physical abuse, police reports on the same and yet justice doesn’t seem to come my way. This is a man who is manipulating the court process to work in his favor, and he is working with his daughter who he had from a previous marriage to take my son away from me thanks to Olavi's lies about me. I cannot come to Kenya because the Finnish government took my son’s passport. And there is no way I can ever leave my son, not for any reason whatsoever.

From Honeymoon Period to Abuse

I met Olavi in Kenya when I was a primary school teacher. I got pregnant with his son while in Kenya and he decided that we should go to Finland since in Kenya he wasn’t making enough money. Our son (Daniel) was born in 2010 and everything was working out so well until the year 2012 when I came back home in Kenya to visit together with my son. That was the beginning of a traumatizing relationship. Olavi changed completely, he was against the idea of our son visiting Kenya, my home country, our relationship deteriorated, and he became unsupportive, selfish and insultive. With the help of his daughter, they conspired to take my son away from me, and subsequently lock me out of my son’s custody. I have suffered a lot of emotional pain thinking of my son having to be subjected to these selfish acts by his father, court battles whose outcomes he is influencing, lies fabricated against me to portray me as a careless mother, insults and discrimination just because I am not a native of Finland. It’s really difficult facing all this by myself, because I have no family member here in Finland. My ex-husband is taking advantage of that fact, so he together with his daughter and the very well connected friends that he has are manipulating the court processes to work in their favor.

Lost Roots

My son is five years old now, yet he is already being denied the chance to learn about his roots. What is wrong with a child visiting his mother’s country of birth? Do they think that just because I am from an African country then I have no voice? I have documents depicting evidences of racial abuse as well as a police report I had filed about physical assault under the hands of Olavi. I am afraid this man and his daughter might go to the extreme because I am an impediment to their plans to keep Daniel. A lot of African mothers here can attest to this. But I am Kenyan, and my son has Kenyan blood in him, he reserves the right to explore his roots, meet his grandparents, his family. It’s not like am stealing him, he is my son, and I just want to raise my son through the values I was raised up with by my mother. We Kenyans pride ourselves in our strong cultural values, I believe my son should also experience the taste of Kenya. For a country that prides itself in a fair and just democracy to its residents, Finland should be in the forefront in providing fair and equal justice to every resident in its territory, racial status notwithstanding. Court decisions are not supposed to be manipulated in favor of a native of that country.

I also reserve the right to raise my son because I gave birth to him. He is not a lab project or a clone, he is my son whom I carried for nine months. I can’t and won’t leave without my son, and no amount of intimidation will pressure me into giving up my son. If I am to be deported then I welcome that notion whole heartedly, I miss my country, the freedom, the Kenyan spirit of love and harmony. There is nothing I would love so much as to go back home to my people, but not without my son. My son is everything to me. If I have to face this battle alone, then I will face it. There are many African women here in Finland who are undergoing the same situation, but the tyrannical doctrines here act as a silencer.

Why I Share My Story

I share this story with the world so that everyone can feel the pain of a mother struggling with a racially motivated agenda, a voice for the many African women suffering depression and mental distress from situations just like mine.

Comments for Domestic story from Finland.

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Jan 23, 2016
Saddening
by: luthor

this is so disheartening. i can feel the woman's pain. i mean this is just wrong, i hope justice will be served because this is just wrong. totally wrong.

Jan 23, 2016
Hard- but hope for your son and mother relationship
by: Anonymous

My phonecomputer is not working well. I empathize with your situation.
Hope for your son to keep the relationship going ad well as he gets older. My son also has been separated from me, and I just hope his brain comes on and rejects what is going on.
Hugs to you.

Jan 24, 2016
justice
by: Anonymous

Finland should do something positive to situation like this and not be on one side just becoz olavi is a finish. Your son must know his mother's country. Kenyan embassy should intervene and not to let its citizens suffer. African continent should join hands to stop discrimination from this people.

Jan 24, 2016
justice
by: cate

Few people like olavi who are polishing there country bad name and image should be dealt with ruthlessly and without mercy. Its a right of every mother to be with his/her baby till the age of 16 when he/she can decide with his life. Justice needs to prevail in situation like this.

Jan 25, 2016
fair justice
by: sandra

ths is unacceptable in a country like finland.. Olavi is just a selfish egotistic man who should be dealt with. how do u even think of separatin a 5yr old kid from his mother? ths is purely racially motivated. dsnt the kenyan govt mind about its people's welfare. if Lilian was american, ths matter wld hv bn sorted ages ago. the finnish govt needs to come out and issue a statement on this!!

Jan 26, 2016
justice is must
by: cate

Yes, if Lilian was an American or from another European country that matter could have been dealt with long ago. Kenyans wake up and fight for your people for crying out loud or do I say God's sake. Lilian needs justice and should be treated like human dispite her color.

Jan 27, 2016
Hope
by: Mike

it sounds stressful enough to be in a foreign country alone n havin so much to deal with. worse still if the laws in tht country are as cruel. ur home country is ur only hope Lilian. i hope you get a good lawyer prefferably from kenya and enlist the services of kenyan civil rights groups. it is internationally agreed that every child shall be at their mother's custody until they are sixteen unless in the case that the mother is a drug addict. what is happening in your situation is unacceptable and its largely to the facty that you are a minority there, so you are not loud enough. its brave what you have done, coming out and sharing this story. hopefully, and within time, you will get the justice that you deserve and when you do, sue this retards, esp that Olavi guy, and sue the finnish govt for losses incurred and time lost during the court summons. not to mention the toll on your health. we are with you miss.

Jan 27, 2016
Mother's Pain.
by: Naff

I can't even start to imagine what Lily is going through.

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