Domestic Violence Story

by Tami
(CT)

The Perfect Boyfriend

I thought I had the perfect boyfriend. We were together for almost 2 years. He was very charming and sweet of course. The honeymoon stage of our relationship lasted for about the first year. After that I didn't recognize this person that I fell in love with and gave everything to.

Starts with Control

First it started with him being jealous and controlling, what I wear, who I talk to. This escalated quickly from pulling my hair and hitting and arguing with me in public. If I tried to break up with him, he would threaten to hurt my family or threaten to set my house on fire. I kept thinking that if I loved him harder and stuck by him that I could actually help him, until one of our normal fights went a step further.

Birthday Week

The week of his birthday I planned a special night in which he told me it was okay to do what I wanted. That day I got a hotel room and told him to meet me there. He came in very upset, punching walls, telling me to get the room for the next night cause he can't stay. He has to go work. I told him I couldn't, so he started being very verbal abusive calling me a stupid worthless bitch and etc. Finally, he calmed down, lay next to me and went to sleep. Morning time it's time to check out. I tried to wake him up, and he said to me "you stupid bitch, stop touching me. You didn't give me no p***y or head. You made me miss out on all this money." Instantly, I knew a fight was going to start. I quickly tried to get dressed. He pushed me against the wall and said your going to give me head. I told him "no." He tried to force me to give him oral sex. I pushed him away. He punched me in my chest. I gasped for air. He grabbed me by my hair and swung me around the whole entire room. I grabbed an alcohol bottle on my way falling onto the bed. He put a pillow over my face, while yelling and calling me names. I gently hit him on the arm with the bottle to get him to stop. He took the pillow off, grabbed the bottle and poured alcohol all in my face and eyes. I grabbed the pillow to wipe my face. He then pulled me by my hair. I slid onto the floor where he got on top of me and started choking me, yelling your just like this bitch, your just like her. At this point the hotel personnel were knocking at the door. He got up and said to me "get your shit, get in the car, don't cause a scene. If you do, I'm going to beat your ass in the parking lot. No one is going to stop me." I told him "no, I'm not getting in the car with you." He looked at me and said "well then we are going to die in this room. I will keep beating your ass until they break in here." All I kept thinking was how in the hell am I going to get away from him alive. My only choice was to agree to leave with him at that point. This abuse lasted for about an hour. Physically I was tired. My nose started bleeding. The more I told him "no", he tried to take my things. He broke my glasses. Completely scared out my mind, I agreed to leave with him.

Escape from the Cemetery


He called someone, a girl on the phone, and said I need you to whoop this bitch's ass for me. The girl agreed. He drove around verbally abusing me, mushing me. He drove to a cemetery to visit his friend, and told me I better not try anything. I remained calm so that he would think I wasn't going to try anything. I immediately texted my sister to help me, and where I was. Then, I just started crying my eyes out until I noticed him coming back to the car. I put my phone away. Then, he just started talking to me like everything was fine. He started to drive off. I seen other people in the cemetery, so I knew it was perfect for me to cause a scene so my sister could find me. I opened the car door. He grabbed me by my hair. I told him if he didn't let me go I would scream. He got out of the car to come to my side and started pushing me. That's when my sister found me running, yelling at him to leave me alone. He instantly got back in the car. I had bruises on my chest and neck.

After that day I filed for a restraining order and of course that didn't stop him. Threats continued. In my interest I felt forced to stay with him. No one would help me. Lucky for me he's in jail. Bad for me I still have pain from him choking me. Being in a relationship with an abusive partner is something you never mentally recover from. I hope my story can help others. There is so much more, but I tried to shorten as much as possible. However, no matter what that person tells you, they will never get better. I pray for everyone. Thank you for listening.

Comments for Domestic Violence Story

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Jan 11, 2016
I'm glad you're alive!
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry. Our stories are amost identical. What types of pain are you still having? I've learn the term is "strangled". If you could not breath and you're still having pain, he strangled you. Is it a sore throat? I was told by a RN that each time you are stragled it raises your chance for a stroke at an early age. I pray you're out. Very interested in your story, due to the fact that mine is so very similar (I'm still in mine). Do you miss yours? I'm trying to figure out whay I love and miss mine when I try to leave. I dont' know the answers.

Jan 11, 2016
Response to anonymous
by: Tami

I wish their was a way I could talk to you more about my story even though he put me threw a lot of bullshit crap I still love and miss him we were still talking but not by my choice he would threaten me if I didn't but he's in jail now and I feel for him because he's mentally not right and I was like his main support system is down wish to hear your story but however my neck and chest hurts I don't even know how to explain it but it literally feels like his hands are on my neck so I do plan on getting that checked out because that wasn't the first time we've had so many fights men like that don't abuse just to do it they need help unfortunately for women like us it's hard that's why it's important for us to uplift each other

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