Batman isn't real either
by Samantha P.
I spent seven years in an abusive relationship. I have been completely out for 6 months. During these last 6 months I have come to realize that all the good, kind, sweet things I remember about my ex, the things I missed, were all just a facade.
The real man is the one that nearly choked me to death, busted my ear drum, destroyed my property, terrorized me daily, verbally abused me daily and made my life a horrible existence.
All of his apologies were followed with, "but if you hadn't...", in other words his behavior was completely conditional upon my behavior. If I would just do better, he would be fine. Unfortunately, the bar was always raised higher and the "rules" changed daily. The result was always going to be the same regardless of what I did.
Walking on egg shells and trying not to upset someone's apple cart your entire life is no way to live nor is it anything that can be construed as love. I kept trying to "reach" him, make him understand what he was doing to me and how wrong it is to do to anyone. I was trying to get that sweet, kind, loving man to stay permanently, but I realize now, that man never existed. That good, decent, normal man was a fictional character created by an abusive man to lure his victim into his lair. Batman would make a wonderful spouse but he isn't real.
Don't allow yourself to be fooled into thinking the "good" man is the real man and the abusive man is the occasional problem. 99% of the time, it would be difficult to come up with a thought, a sentence or a man that had abusive and good in it.