I fell for him because he showed me so much love. He told me I was his queen, his trophy wife. It was exciting and real. I thought this is it!
But then the control started. After that it was outbursts of anger. Then it was "why did you make me hit you. It's your fault I act like this." Excuses-I fell, oh he is just drunk again, no I can't have lunch with you mom I'm sick. Next, broken ribs, broken ankle, bruises on my neck from chocking me. Then finally it started happening in front of my daughter. I knew at that point I had to break the cycle. I knew if I stayed my daughter would most likely be in the same situation I was in.
Now, 14 years later, it's been almost 2 years since I left. My divorce was just finalized last month, and I have sole custody of our daughter. I still live in the same town about 5 minutes from our house where he still resides. My reason for staying here was so that my daughter could continue to have a relationship with her father. But it only took about 6 months after we split for their relationship to fall apart. I wasn't there anymore to make up excuses for her father's actions. As of now she hasn't stepped foot in his house for almost a year. He will try and text or call her every couple days and she does not respond. Now, not only in his mind but his whole family's, I turned my daughter against him.
I have been stalked by his girlfriend and even had a gun pulled on me by one of his family members. I have survived hell, and I will not stop fighting for our life. We deserve to have a peaceful life. I do know in order to do so like most domestic violence cases, I have to move far away. In the state where I live, I have to request to reside in another state with my daughter, even though I have sole custody. He has no visitation now and no decision making rights. But, he wasn't stripped of all of his rights. Along with having to get it approved by the courts, he will get the papers served to him and he has 21 days to appeal it.
I've been to lawyers asking if there is any safer way to do this because of my situation. A restraining order they said. A restraining order will not stop him from trying anything he can to not let us go. I know he will appeal us leaving, because it's some type of control he would be able to still have in his mind. But I've come this far. I thought about just moving to another town in the state, but I know that it is not far enough. I have been searching for help. It's been hard, but I have finally found people that listened to my story, and they are helping me to where I will be able to go but still be safe and it is legal.
I have a long road ahead still, but if you ever want to get out and you feel you can't, there are people out there that will help. You just have to do your research and don't give up. Know that your life is worth it. Your child's life is worth it. Be safe and smart about how do get out of this horrible ordeal.
I am a survivor. And you can be also.