He is the devil in disguise

by Shannon
(Michigan)

Growing up I thought I was strong, I thought I could always tell right from wrong. I still can't believe I allowed myself to once be in such an abusive relationship.

I've been strangled so much in the past that I don't like to wear shirts that touch my neck or small necklaces because it freaks me out. I've been locked in small rooms for hours..for days.. with a small hole in the door so I could be watched. For fun he would steal my phone, drive me to a bad part of Detroit and drop me off just to see if I could make it home.

I was married to someone who was turned on to the sound of me crying for help. I've been raped, and I've been beaten all by the same guy. Every aspect of my life was controlled. I wasn't allowed to take birth control..I was told it was up to God if I had children. I had strong anti depressants shoved down my throat...because it was all MY fault that I was depressed...and in turn it made me numb to a lot of things.

He was in jail... on work release with a fake job for the first year of my daughter's life for sexually assaulting a 16 year old girl. Instead of going to work when he was out, he would hide in a closet at home to make sure I didn't tell CPS anything. All that aside, one day he flushed my anti depressants down the toilet and strangled me in a closet, and I don't remember even exactly how I ended up at my neighbors house calling the police but that was the day I had finally had enough. I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN MY KIDS AND RAN...but instead I sought help.

I tried to do things the "right way" I got a ppo and me and the kids were safe for a awhile... I should have taken them and ran. He tried to fight it...I was in court at least once a month for awhile, I wasn't very strong at the time...just having to see his face broke me down inside. They ended up giving him 50/50 custody...despite having a ppo against him. Now my son has come home not once but twice black and blue. After getting out of jail for it, they then decide the best way to go about this is to grant him supervised visits once a week until they reestablish their relationship. I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN MY KIDS AND RAN.

I haven't always been strong...but I'm getting stronger everyday. I refuse to have my kids go through what I went through. I know know why so many kids end up on the news. I get treated like a criminal for trying to protect them. It is very hard having to see someone who has brought so much pain into your life knowing that there is not a damn thing you can do about it. I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN MY KIDS AND RAN