J 1990

So when my boyfriend and I sometimes argue he mentally bullies me in the arguments ..like such as saying I'm a bitch, a c**nt, he hates me, etc. And every time he says he's sorry he said it cause it was in an argument. Half the time it's over petty shit or me not even trying to argue. And I just explain to him what he's done to upset me, but he sees it as an attack on him n then it turns into a fight which I always back down from because even in arguments he scares me with the way he speaks to me and reacts.

So the other day we end up arguing over nothing in particular, but he yet again calls me all the names under the sun. By this point I'm fed up with the mental abuse, so yes I throw water in his face. Maybe I shouldn't have, but after so long of him saying bad shit to me that I did not deserve it was enough so yeh he gets mad chases me into a corridor, pins me to the wall, grabs hold of my collarbone n shakes me while still gripping onto me. For the first time, he's physically violent with me. Terrified, I ran to my mate's house and told her what happened.

Anyway, when I finally got the courage to go back, he didn't believe he had hurt me. He knew what he did he. He just thought I was lying about it hurting me, so I told him how scared I was n the fact I had to hide out at a friends house because I was afraid. He also said in the moment of that happening in the corridor he wanted to hit me. It crossed his mind for a second, and he had to restrain himself. He says he is never going to forgive himself for what he's done. I love him, so I am trying to forgive him, but it's hard, and I still have it in my head what happened. I still feel uneasy around him, and I don't know if I can ever fully forget what happened or trust him. My dad was also abusive to my mum, and I always said I would walk away if a man did what he did to my mum ..but it's not that easy.

Whats your advice?

Comments for J 1990

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Nov 14, 2017
Please leave
by: Anonymous

Please leave. He's shown his true colors. It will only get worse.

Mar 29, 2018
leave
by: Anonymous

Youre better off alone for awhile to build yourself. He wont let you. Some people cannot stand to see others happy...sounds like thats the case with the useless a-hole youre with. Read all the other stories on here. Dont they all sound similar? The common theme is: woman takes abuse, things are bad, it takes years to recover. Oh and poverty. And kids with crazy parents. Dont breed with a maniac! I did. and I have to see the traits in my son that his father had. DNA is no joke.
You know what my mother never told me?"find man that loves you, speaks to you kindly, provides well for you and would never ever hit you."
There's a world out there for women who respect themselves, real love and no chaos and fighting. Build yourself, be a good person, do not associate with broken crazy men.

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