Three months ago, I left my abusive relationship of 7 years. I know that sharing my story will help in my recovery, and I need help.
When we met, I was 18 and he was 23. We were young, and I thought we were in love. The abuse didn't start physically, it started verbally and emotionally. It became physical during year 4. I should have left the first time he hit me, but I was so broken mentally and emotionally that I justified it to myself and believed he only did it because he was drunk and I made him mad. He really loves me I told myself, I must have done something to provoke him. I can do better, I can be better. Well I learned the hard way that love doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually.
The last straw was when he kicked me down the steps outside of where we lived. I was used to not getting an apology from him. However this time, he laughed at me and as he was walking away, he called me a bitch.
A lot happened during those seven years. I am not really sure if I am ready to face it myself. I have been getting a lot of flashbacks lately, and it is hard to face them. I know that getting through it is the only way to recovery, but it is really really hard. When I am ready, I will share more. But for now, this helps.