My truth Alyssa Hamilton
by Alyssa Hamilton
Hi, my name is Alyssa Hamilton. I am 23 years old. I am a survivor of the domestic violence.
It started when I was 16 years old. I was lost, most importantly rebellious. I honestly think that's what made me so more attached to this young lost boy, because I was so lost myself. See, in the process of me running the streets in retaliating against my parents, I also got in trouble with the law a little bit. And, when I finally got out of trouble, I began trying to get my life back on track. But still, I was lost in the process. While very, very angry, I met the one boy who would change my life. He was tough, the one all of the young girls liked because no one wants to be with the geeky weird guy that usually grows up to be a successful and somewhat respectful, can't forget wealthy ones with no kids till after marriage, but we could get back to my story.
It all started with a text. One text could lead to those long phone convos. U know in the beginning when every thing is cute and the texts seem sincere. See, one thing I'm leaving out is the fact that he was in a program at 16 years old. He told me he was in/out of jail, but it never seemed to matter. We were young and too immature to ask important questions that seem relevant now and irrelevant back at that age.
The first time he showed me a different side is when a small argument ended with him throwing a brick in my window, leading to almost hitting me in my face. If I didn't duck that brick would've probably killed me, and I was 16. I was too young to even understand what was the start of something that I should end it right then and that's when the first apology of many came.
See, it didn't stop there. See, this is how they get you. He apologized and apologized. he told me it would never happen again. I excepted his apology. A month and a half later, I realized I was late, if you know what late means. I think you'll probably understand I had something growing inside of me. I was 17 years old, and I was going to be somebody's mother. That changed me drastically, but never once seem to want to change him. See, he started to do my work shifts. He would not go out and get a job, so that should've told me right there. I was in this alone, and if I upset him he would verbally abuse me, make me feel less then. He was good at that.
He got to go to one doctors appointment, and days later after seeing his baby in a sonogram he got so upset he beat me down the stairs and stomped on my belly. He went to jail for two years. I didn't talk to him for two years so that means he missed nine months of my pregnancy and the full year of my baby girls life. I was 18 when he came home. I grew. I matured. I became a mother and a worker. He became a monster. I took him back when he came home, but something changed about him even more. As I was falling more deeply in love with him, he was falling out of love with me. But, yet still, giving me and my children false hope, the abuse kept getting worse.
One time he beat me so bad my tooth had to be removed, black eyes anything you can imagine. He placed guns in front of my children, threatening to kill me, keeping me in the house. Removing me from my family and starting drama between me and my family, he became an abuser, and me just loving him and not wanting to give up, I lost myself.
I'm going to give you the short version. I lost everything. If you think the person that you're with who's beating you physically and emotionally is going to change, that's the game. Get out. I lost myself. It's two years after everything 16 to 21, but then also he had two years extra because I had a meltdown. I lost me, and, loving somebody else, I just got out of that place where it's dark and and from now on I'm more cautious of who I love. It is kind of coldhearted, but when it comes to my baby I melt. Stop trying to change the man that's what I did. Start working on changing me. I have three children by someone who is lost and now in jail for hurting me and his children, but I'm still standing. I'm here and my mission is to help to give back time to someone who needs to be heard, and I'm someone who could listen. I stand in the courtroom because I want to see justice served. Was all over the media getting joke on I understand that one person that understands. It's not easy to get out before it gets out of control and his control too.