No one believes me because he doesn't hit me.
by anon because im terrified
(please don't ask me that. if he finds out...)
No one believes me about the domestic violence my partner heaps on me. You see, he doesn't hit me.
He does other things. The things that don't leave a bruise or a broken bone for all to see.
He puts things in my food and drink that have destroyed my health. I have woken up with needle marks in my arms, and twice on my feet. Over many years I have tried to keep myself safe. he is always a step ahead. I feel utterly alone. All I do is cry.
He used to wait until I went to sleep to get sex out of me. He used to force himself on me a lot of the time, and I would give in. It was easier that way.
I went to the doctors many times and told them what I thought was happening to me, and told them my gut feelings. they didn't believe me. No one seems to believe that domestic violence is not just about the awful beatings, and rapes. It is about the mental abuse, the spiteful nastiness, how he blames you for everything wrong in his life to justify the affairs he has.
My only exit is death or homelessness. I'd rather be dead than homeless. My partner can be immensely cruel and extremely nasty. He says the most hurtful things that are unimaginable. He says he likes to see me suffer. I made the mistake once of telling one of his friends about what was happening. His friend told him straight away, and he threatened me saying I wasn't worth living, and, if I ever did it again, he would kick me out on the street. I asked him to give me some money so I would not be homeless, but he said no, and the most he would give me was 20$, which he hasn't, and didn't.
No one believes me, everyone thinks he is wonderful and awesome, but he isn't, not behind closed doors. I had a friend, a lady much older than myself. She didn't believe me either. When I tried to tell my family about what was happening and he found out, life was much worse for me. I am terrified he will find out that I am writing this. I have no where to go, no money, no job, and my health is bad. He is an emotional blackmailer with sociopath/psychopathic tendencies. He is addicted to prescription meds.
There are a lot of days where I fear for my life. I worry about the women he sees, because the same would very easily happen to them, drugging their food and drink and all the bad stuff he has done to me.