Not My Fault

by David Gibbs
(London)

It started with being hit with a cooking pot on my neck until my neck swelled. I thought this was a one-off, but I was wrong. This event turned out to be the start of the worst waking nightmare of my life.

I am a 43-year-old male, living a life of abuse and don't have the strength to walk away. In the past three years, I have suffered severe mental, physical and verbal abuse. For instance, one time at about 3 AM, I woke up to find her hand on my throat, and she slapped me repeatedly. The reason, I had spoken with my hands during the day. Another time she kicked me in the chest while I was climbing onto the bed and punched me repeatedly. This punishment was because I came to bed late.

There have been many cases of physical abuse, and right now I am on anti-depressants. On Saturday she punched me in the head several times, and she claimed that she is embarrassed to be seen with me because I am shorter than she and I walk with a limp. She has always made fun of the way I walk. I had an accident, and one leg is slightly longer than the other. She keeps saying I walk like a duck.

I am struggling as I don’t know what to do, she has refused with my bank card, and she doesn’t work. I am struggling, depressed and feeling suicidal.

Why can't I go for help?