Please help me to not have to rely on my abuser

by Tasha
(USA)

My (almost ex) husband and I have 2 special needs children together. They witnessed the first, last and only time he became violent. To make matters worse he is in law enforcement. There is no way I can get help or assistance thru the proper channels without a police report, and getting one has proven impossible for me.

Originally I told no one why we broke up because I knew he would deny it and no one would believe me. Now, however, I have proof of that incident and all his additional forms of abuse since. I have videos of when I called the police, videos of him tearing thru the house saying everyone would be better off if I was dead, the child custody evaluation which confirms not only what happened but shows first hand how sick and dangerous my husband can be and where his true motives are. I also have medical records, bank statements, text messages, pictures and evaluations. Posting them would be dangerous for us, but I am more than happy to share any and all information with anyone willing to help us not have to rely on him.
My children have already been through too much. Its been 2 years since he left, the first year they both regressed terribly, but I worked very hard at providing them with the consistent structure and routines they, as children with developmental delays, need in order to feel safe enough to absorb and learn and make progress. They've done amazing this past year.

If we have to move out of this house, their favorite place on earth, it will do so much damage. I'm not suggesting that it will destroy them, it wont- I wouldn't let it. But they deserve to have the stability they rely on.

But if I have to rely on the support money he's obligated to pay, we will lose the house. He will see to it. I work anywhere and everywhere I can, but as the only parent who cares about IEP meetings, wraparound services and meetings, 6 times a week therapy appointments- the most I've made in one month these past 2 years is $400.
Court can only help AFTER the financial damage is done and it's already been made very clear to me: any efforts on my part to ensure the support order gets enforced can ultimately lead to him getting fired, should that happen his support obligations will be reduced to a nominal $25 a month.

It seems my options are: give him the kids so his mother can raise them (he has said point blank he wont stop until I'm left homeless and forced to give him the kids) OR stop being involved with my kids progress to get a job (I've applied to 3-5 pt jobs a week for 2 years though, had only 8 interviews and didn't get any of them-I can also verify my job efforts since I've kept track of all of it) OR just hope he will pay the correct amount every month even though he only pays just enough to not get in trouble with court.

Or, I can try this- rely on the kindness of strangers. As crazy as it sound, relying on the kindness of strangers is more reliable than my other options!

My goal, and I know it's extreme, is to raise enough money to pay off the mortgage. $132,569 as of March 1, 2017. I wouldn't say if it's likely or not, but I know it's POSSIBLE. And I promised my kids I would do everything I can to keep us in the house so to not try this would mean I broke my promise and I don't do that.

Please email me for verification of everything I said. I'm sure you'll be confident that I am being 100% accurate about my situation and I also feel once you read about the horrible things he's done and said you too will think my plight of wanting to not have to depend on him for anything is worthy of your generosity.

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Mar 08, 2017
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by: Anonymous

Get ahold of the attorney Gloria Allred. She has helped many. She is the best and may do pro bono for you because he is in law enforcement. She has been on many high profile cases as well. Start with her. She can give guidance and help. God Bless You

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