Surviving Two Monsters

by Adele

My horror story started at 15.

I started a relationship with an abuser. He suffocated me, beat me, and attempted to drowned me to create a fear no one can ever imagine. This relationship continued for 8 years. He stopped the violence for two yearsin this time.

So I married him.

He started to beat me on our honeymoon whilst pregnant with our daughter. I finally grew strong enough to end the relationship at age 23. So, he broke in, holding me all night saying he had come to kill us. He made me have sex to prove I wanted him back.. Next morning, I fled to a DV (domestic violence) hostel in another town.

He had contact with his daughter. He played the court system and basically snatched her. It took me 18 months to get her back. In this time I fell apart, turned alcoholic, and another abuser stepped in to pick up my pieces.

The relationship with my new abuser lasted 7 years, but this time I was physically abused by him and emotionally abused by his large family. I had two more children and was cheated on, beat on, and controlled throughout. Eventually he was arrested but, unfortunately, not for crimes to me, but accusations of rape of another. I finally found help in a childrens center and fled in 2011 goin back to my hometown.

It has been 5 years. He never went to jail, and my eldest finally felt safe enough to tell us he abused her, but cps (child protective services) couldn't build a case. She's too mentally unfit to face court due to her suffering. We are free of him though and safe. We stayed alone for years. I found out who I am without control. I studied, got a career, and then met a kind loving guy who I recently married, and he took on my girls as his own.

I suffer from complex ptsd (post-traumatic stress disorder) but do not let it define me. I control my life. Nothing or nobody else does anymore. I suffered 15 years of abuse but have now changed everything. I survived and am strong. I felt alone because they forced me to.

Reach out for help! Children's centers are a great opportunity. Mums group saved me, got me help, guided me on my way. There is always a way. I'm still tortured by memories, but that's all they are now...


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